Friday, February 19, 2010

The JOY of the Lord

Well, I was excited to have a quiet minute to blog again and share some photos of the twins 7th birthday and other Honey happenings, and I will; but first I must share something about my sweet Gigi. There was a moment this morning that I have been anticipating for quite a while, something we knew would come but we had been spared so far. As I brought my Gigi's toast and coffee in for breakfast, as Isabelle or I do every morning, I greeted her again and said... "Here's your breakfast Gigi". She was walking towards me and then she stopped, and looking at me a little bewildered said, "who are you?". I responded with a catch in my throat, "I am your grandaughter, Chessa". Of all the questions that Alzheimers has caused her to ask, all the comments and clear acts of confusion, this one pierced my soul. There have been dozens upon dozens of questions, daily at this point... asking where the bathroom is in her home, how to turn on the lights, wanting to go home and wondering where her home is, having to tell her anew that her brother passed away as she asked to call him, asking where her Mother is, who those children are (her great-grandchildren playing outside), forgetting our names from time to time, forgetting to eat or that she just ate, unsure how to get dressed each day, climbing in bed fully dressed at 4 in the afternoon...there are so many more, but this is the one I was dreading. She has forgotten my name, but never has she looked at me quite like this before. I should have known it might be today. This morning when I woke her and Papa, she looked confused and scattered. Chad and I had been late into the evening at the ER with Papa, and Gigi had gone to sleep without him. When they woke and Papa was talking so endearing to her, telling her that he was home, she looked unsure. As difficult as it is for us as family, it is nothing compared to the sorrow this disease causes Papa. He continues to love her so tenderly, calling her his "precious girl" and talking about their 64 years together. How thankful I am that the Lord holds them in the palm of His hands. He loves them more than I could ever dream. There is a such a peace that floods my soul when I think of them in eternity with Him. These are difficult days but there is no place I would rather be. The JOY of the Lord is my strength.

So...here is what I don't know about blogging....do I keep on with this post or do a new one for birthdays and other photos....oh well, I guess I am learning along the way! I think I will close this post out and work on the birthday post later or tomorrow...enjoy your Friday!

5 comments:

  1. Tears. You brought them to my eyes. It happens to me at work every time a family comes to see some one who doesn't know them any more. Your PaPa sounds so wonderful I want to adopt him.

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  2. Hi Sweetheart,
    What a beautiful tribute in word and form to your family and your heavenly Father. If I were handing out blog awards, you'd get one! Seriously, I am thankful you got around to this because your words in this 'contemporary diary' are not only moving and may be helpful to others, but will be a 'soap for the soul' for you both emotionally and spiritually. The daily caring for others first, often before you've even had a moment to yourself, can be so very stressful. So I hope this blog serves as a release and as a family member, I thank you for the updates and thank God for you. Love you, Jo

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  3. Ruth and Jo Ellen...thank you for your sweet and encouraging words, I treasure them. Love, Chessa

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  4. Oh My,Chessa. My heart is so moved by the words and the way you have with them in sharing your recent experience with dear Gigi.You are an inspiration. The compassion and love in your home is amazing. I love to be there with you all interacting with each other.I grieve with you the loss of Gigi as you have known her and,with you, I delight in thinking about all that Heaven holds for His children...complete healing and wholeness as we have never fully known here. Thank you,Lord. Now I will dry my tears and say I love you sweet friend.

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