52

52 pounds in 52 weeks, crazy how it ended up like that.  Just a little update as I hit my year mark in this weight-loss journey.  On April 4, 2012 I gave myself one year to lose 60 pounds.  I simply wanted to work slowly but faithfully to attain this goal. I recognized immediately something I already knew in my heart, I have no discipline outside of the Lord’s strength.  Left to myself I would continue down the same path for years to come but giving my many weak moments of wants and desires to Him and drawing from His strength to run “just one more step” transformed this process entirely.  I have tried many “diets” over the years but I didn’t want my life to be about a “diet” I wanted it to be about a change in who I was and the choices I made regarding food and the idol it was.  I didn’t want to have to deprive myself for months on end only to then binge my way to gaining the weight back when I was all done. 

 I had never been successful at losing more than 20-25 pounds at any one time previously and I knew the methods I had used before I did not want to employ again.  I also realized that I needed to tackle how I looked at food and what I thought it “accomplished” for me.  I found very quickly that cooking food, consuming food and most of what falls between was an obsession for me.  I spoke my love with food and so felt the need to consume what I loved, of course.  I have learned that I can still speak love with my food; I just don’t need to consume it at the same level in which I love.  I can still connect with my family or guests around the table and it is not the Chicken Carbonara or the Chocolate Town pie that is drawing us together, but rather it is the interactions, conversations and genuine desire to know the person across the table that makes the connections. 

 I have learned that “firsts” are good and to savor what I have rather than always looking forward to the next thing.   Wow, this has been a lesson I have applied to many areas of life!  Instead of pondering ahead to what I will put on my plate for the second go around, I am relishing what it is I have in front of me. In all of life it has helped me view what I already possess as valuable rather than looking for the next best thing.  I have also come to realize that tomorrow is another day. I can say “no” to something today and allow myself to consider it tomorrow or maybe the next day.  If I still desire a sweet treat after “thinking it over” for a couple days then it is definitely time to treat myself!  Oh how sweet and far more satisfying it is when I have waited even just a day to consume it, it truly feels like a reward! I also know that I can enjoy every part of a meal I make as long as I am wise to put the appropriate portions of the right foods on my plate.  It really does work to fill half your plate with veggies and leave smaller areas for your protein and starch.  Eating most of your veggies first truly does help satisfy you and leaves much less room in your tummy to tempt you to go back for seconds after you’ve at the rest of your plate.   There are many other “little things” that have made “big differences” for me that I can tackle in another post.

Obviously another big part of this journey has been the exercise!  Shocking to even see myself type…but running has become my friend and a joy in my life.  Nothing fancy or fast, again just “steady eddy” is my name. J The past few weeks I have added in quite a bit of Jillian Michaels videos and WOW has she kicked my tail, but I am loving it!  What I have loved the most is to see so many ladies start a new journey for themselves with running because they have a friend who was able to do it so they thought, “yes maybe I can”!  An amazing example is my dear friend Sara….. she also started counting her calories with the Lose It app and began the C25K program and is down 30 pounds in 8 weeks… AMAZING!!!

My journey is not over yet, I still need to meet my original goal….8 pounds to go. I know that I will go beyond that 8 pounds, but just where I will land I am uncertain of at this point.  I do feel certain I can attain 70 pounds but look ahead to possibly 80… who knows!  I am so grateful for where the Lord has brought be on this journey so far and I look forward to where He will take me tomorrow.  Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

 Love,



40

I feel a little funny writing about this, but at the same time I wanted to simply remember this day as a motivating factor for myself and hopefully for others.  No, I’m not turning 40… yet (thankfully I still have 1 yr, 8 months  and 9 days before that happens… gee no counting here! J ) but I wanted to mark another big 40 in my life …. 40 pounds… gone!  I started this journey in early April and I gave myself 1 year to lose 60 pounds.  Even though I knew I had been seeing results over these last few months, I was still surprised to realize early this month that I was very close to reaching the 40 pound mark.  At first my goal was to make it through the holidays without gaining anything but then when I realized I was so close to such a big marker, my motivation grew and I was able to lose this last little bit and hit my 40 pound mark this past Saturday!! 

It is strange to be in this deep on my journey.  I am a different person, with different cravings and different motivations than I have ever had in my entire life. I still LOVE food, I still LOVE to cook food, I still show MY LOVE to others with food, I just don't "live to eat" anymore; rather, I try to simply "eat to live".  I still enjoy all the food I make, just much less of it.  I can also recognize now that exercise and daily life can go hand in hand. Running is something I now desire to do, always.  I am perusing a book right now titled Run Your Butt Off and one of the writers describes being “hooked on exercise” in the following way. 

“For a while – a long time, it seems – we only appreciate exercise when it is over.  We feel virtuous for having done it, and we’re glad we pushed ourselves out the door.  Whew. Check that off the day’s to-do list. But there comes a point when the actual “during” portion of exercise isn’t so bad, either.  You’re out there and you start running, and it feels much easier than you anticipated it would before you started. You feel like you’ve got a good stride going. In fact, it’s downright invigorating. It goes by quickly, and you’re sort of sorry it has to end. “

 When I began running this spring, I remember praying that I would just stick with this, stick with something that could make a difference.   The Lord graciously answered my prayers.  Now it is not a matter of sticking to it, but the simple fact that as someone who initially detested running, I now truly enjoy it.  As strange as it seems to type it, I think I can officially say … I am a runner. I am not a fast runner, I am not a long runner, but I run. The beauty is that anyone can run.  One thing I have learned over these months is that my view of who a runner is has been skewed.  I have always thought of running as this elite group of people who must be super- human in their desire, motivation and skill. What I have learned is that there is a vast gamut of runners out there.  Very definitely there are your “super-human amazing runners”, but there are also your overweight, clumsy, absolutely NOT athletic, slow runners out there and everything in between.    Another very special factor is that those who are amazing runners are extremely encouraging to those of us who definitely are not. Wow.  It has been a very sweet journey for certain.    

These last few months have also further revealed something special that I was aware of but have been blessed to experience to the fullest recently.  I am surrounded by encouraging and generous people who love me.  Family and friends who are generous with their words of love and encouragement and truly take joy in seeing you succeed.  WOW, what a treasure they are to me.  My biggest encourager has been my dear husband. God has used these last few years and in particular the last few months, to further reveal to me the depth of the man I am married to.   NEVER in all our years of marriage has he said a negative word about my weight, no matter where I have landed on the scale.  He has loved me as equally and fervently in recent years as he did almost 19 years ago when we said “I do”.   I cannot tell you the countless, (literally countless) times in the last few months that he has told me “I am so proud of you” as we kiss goodnight.  His words are true, honest and like gold to me. 

It is strange to be at a weight I haven’t seen in years.  To be in a size I haven’t worn since before Mitchell was born. This past Sunday I wore a dress, a full-fledged dress … something I haven’t done in probably 9 or so years….my girls were thrilled!  Over the years they have asked me why I don’t wear dresses and I simply had to say I didn’t feel comfortable in them.  I know I still have a bit of a journey left.  My initial goal of 60 pounds might change to 70, I don’t know.  I do suspect that these last 20 pounds will be harder than the first 40, but I am ready for the challenge.  Excel still more.

Love,

MARCH 2012

DECEMBER 2012

 (sorry for the crummy lighting)

Turkey Trot 2012

Yesterday was SO MUCH FUN!!! I was so nervous for nothing!  I did not sleep well at all the night before, even with a melatonin! You know what I mean?  The kind of sleep where you know your brain is still on and running in the background?!?  I was nervous on so many levels.  Afraid it would be a competitive (not fun) run, afraid of the unknown terrain and simply afraid I might struggle to finish it … even though I have been running 3 miles (and sometimes more) 3x’s a week!

 I am so DELIGHTED that I ran it! It was so not what I was anxious over, AT ALL!  It was FUN and the group we had made it much more than fun… it is a precious memory I will always treasure! We had a fantastic group of runners….some newer runners, some old runners and some cold turkey runners!!   I finished in 37 minutes and some unknown seconds, I forgot to look!  I was the last one of our group to come in (and believe me I am SO ok with that) and there was something quite special about having almost 20 people cheering for you as you come to the end!  I had to fight back tears!  Even with no desire to “compete” in my times, just to run and finish it felt like such an accomplishment!!  

It was also very fun to have Mrs. Vandenbos there.  She is a much loved piano teacher for quite a few in our group of runners, including Mitchell!  She is a marathon runner, so this 5K was small potatoes for her I’m sure!  She did great and she joined us for our “after” photo!

So many in our group did so well! There was about 200 - 300 people participating and many of our group finished under the 30 minute mark (or just over)and we even had some ribbons that were won!  Mitchell finished nicely under 30 minutes, which was his goal.  Taylor B. won 1^st for her age group, Roscoe P. won 3^rd (I believe it was) for his age group, Titus B. got 3^rd in his age group and my sweet hubby got third for his age group with a 21:01 and 19^th overall.  I am so proud of him! He was in the 30-39 age group but the two that beat him were younger than him!  No one the same age as him or in the next age group up (40-49) finished before him! I keep telling him that he should actually train more over the next few months so when he turns 40 he will be ready to really run!!  He was quite the runner in HS and when we were first married.  He commonly ran his mile in HS in the 4:20’s with his best time being a 4:10!!! He used to finish his 5K’s between 15-16 minutes! The last official race he ran was almost 18 years ago, about a year after we were married, the Frost Bite Foot Race in Anchorage.  This is a race held in downtown Anchorage in JANUARY!  It was in the single digits for temp. and that did not include the wind chill, it was crazy cold!!   It was very special to me to run my first “race” together with Chad and Mitchell.

We finished our adventure off with a delicious feast at the E’s home…. Egg casserole, Quiche, Blueberry pancakes, sausage, fruit, cinnamon rolls, coffee and sweet fellowship!   It was a very special morning on so many levels.  Completing the Turkey Trot  was an awesome milestone for me, but experiencing it with those dear to my heart was the icing on the cake!  I can’t wait to do it again!!

 

 

 

 

 Before the run....

 



 

 

After...

(some don't look any worse for the wear)

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

Hey, Fat Girl

 

I wanted to share with you a post I found on another blog. The author is Flint at http://flintland.blogspot.ca/ 

He has a great blog, he is a REAL runner and his post REALLY encouraged me.  Even though I don't run on a track, over these months it has taken every ounce of everything I have to run on the road where everyone can see me! He put words to my insecurities and encouraged my heart just the same.  I hope you enjoy the post.


 

Hey, Fat Girl.

 

Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you cringe.

You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.

You are awesome.

If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.

You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.

You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again.

You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration.

I bow to you.


http://flintland.blogspot.ca/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html

 

 

 

A 30 Minute Miracle

That’s about all I can think to call the fact that I am running continuously for 30 minutes. Today was day 3 of going 30 minutes…totally and completely …. it is truly a 30 minute miracle!  I mean really…this is me….the girl who detests running, can’t stick with an exercise program for more than a few weeks, usually finding any reason possible to skip a day…. and here we are.  I am not nor ever will consider myself a “runner”, they are in a league of their own.   Just a rung lower there is me…. a girl running, slower than what is probably legally considered running, but I’m doing it…. and for 30 minutes to boot!  Thank You Lord!

25 Minutes

     In April I decided that I needed to do something different….drastically different….with my physical self that is.  I had been hearing a lot about this C25K (Couch to 5K) running program and decided I would do it, or die trying. This is coming from the girl who detests, loathes, hates… no really, I mean to use those strong words….despises running.  Let me tell you a little secret about my school days.  We had a PE class, of course, what school doesn’t?!?  I really don’t like physical education; well I really didn’t like THAT phys-ed class.  For cheerleading we did tons of physical exercise preparing our routines including hours of aerobics but that PE class was probably the bain of my existence in my school years.  Did I mention that I had the same PE teacher for most of my school years? I attended a private Christian school from preschool to graduation (with only one year thrown in there where my mom let me “try” public school…didn’t like it so much) and for the most part we had the very same PE teacher.  She never aged and her Cheetos and Diet Coke she drank…(while we exercised none the less)… never changed.  We had a lake near our school and up until just this moment I always thought it was at least 2 miles one way from our school.  As I was writing this I decided to look up the exact distance on Bing maps so I know how far we were made to run….it always felt like an eternity…well I stand corrected, really corrected.  My oh my…. It is only 0.6 miles one way from our school…yikes that’s pathetic. Well, many times we were made to run to Cheney Lake from school but I was of course always the straggler at the back.  I finally got smart.  On the way to Cheney lake there was a neighborhood off to the right and I got a fantastic idea.  Since I was always the end of the line anyways I decided I would just drop off the back of the line as we went past the neighborhood street and rest myself behind a parked car.  Then, when they all ran by on the return, I would then sneak myself back up to the end of the line and run the short distance to the school. This worked great for quite a while until our teacher decided to drive her car to check up on all of us and our running skills.  Needless to say my creative caveat wasn’t greatly appreciated and I was back to running with great disdain. 

     I have always known I would go to great lengths to avoid running but in April I was desperate.  I needed physical activity that was flexible, no extra parts needed, not stuck inside in front of a TV, not expensive start-up costs, not a gym and I didn’t need a partner.  As I weighed all my options, all I had left was unfortunately running.   How hard can this be I thought.  I have matured since high school, I no longer hide behind parked cars.  I have endured childbirth, 30 long hours for Mitchell alone, (thanks sweetheart) I CAN endure running.  So began my dreaded running days. I gave myself one year to lose “xx” pounds, so I downloaded two apps on my iPhone, Lose It and C25K.  One is for counting calories and the other for learning to run.  Oh…my… goodness.  Really there could not be an easier program to get you running, but I hate running so it was kinda like torture for me.  C25K is a fantastic program that, slow and steady, goes 3x’s a week for 9 weeks and takes you from nothingness to running a 5K.  Day one begins like this….Brisk five-minute warm-up walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes, followed by a 5 minute cool down walk. 

     60 seconds of jogging…really….sounds pathetic but when done by me, in alternate with walking for a total of 20 minutes, it was HARD.  Really, honestly, it isn’t hard… but for me….oh yes it’s hard.  Slow, that is all I can say about how I run...slow and steady. Originally it was probably more like “slow and sloppy” as I didn’t have the steady part down but that has developed over time, thankfully.   So fast forward 15 weeks, yes… I am 15 weeks into a 9 week program and no, I am still not all the way there yet…but I am still running!  A couple weeks into my beginnings, my sweet neighbor Jamie joined me so I started over again into the program, back to day 1.   I had no problem with that, a little more time to build myself up! It has been fun to have Isabelle fill in as my running partner when Jamie can’t  go.  I have so enjoyed her company and Shelley can’t wait till she gets a little bigger to join me!

     Much has happened since we started.  We repeated days when we did not feel ready to move on, I battled a nasty bronchitis but worked through it and we conquered our dreaded 20 minute run. My friend Cindy says if you can run the 20 minutes, you can run the 5K and I’m beginning to believe her! Our running is slower than they expect from you as we are not quite meeting the distance they mark, but we are meeting the time and we know the distance will come as we get stronger.  I am excited to say we haven’t missed a day, even if our days have had to switch around and maybe we could not run together, we still did it and kept up with the 3x’s a week…sometimes we even went extra! Yesterday was week 7 day 1…..25 minutes… and we did it….we actually ran 25 minutes straight!!!  I told Jamie when we were done yesterday; I am still shocked every time I complete a day that I actually ran it without dying!  There is a little part of me now that believes I can really, truly run a 5K….. no really….. I can actually do it! So far I am a quarter of the way into my desired weight loss.  Slow and steady, nothing fancy, just  portion control and watch what I eat and get myself outside to run.

     Amazingly now, I don’t detest running.  In fact, I kinda, just a little… but not too much… like it!  There is something sweet about praise music blasting in my ears, God’s beautiful creation around me and doing something I never thought I could do that gets my adrenalin going every time! Wonders never cease!