Going West

Resting

Jesus, I am resting, resting,

In the joy of what Thou art;

I am finding out the greatness

Of Thy loving heart

The house is quiet yet this morning and I thought I might have a moment to share about the last few weeks. It is about 6:50 Sunday morning and I am sitting in with Papa and Gigi. It is warm and peaceful in here but the wind is howling outside. Tennessee Ernie Ford, with his beautiful voice, is singing “The Old Rugged Cross” in the background. Papa awoke around 4:30 this morning, feeling “funny” and a little confused. Chad and I were able to reposition him in bed and sat holding hands with him for quite a while, listening to the hymns softly playing and just being with him. Papa has had episodes like this before and thankfully he eventually relaxes and like now, is now sleeping peacefully.

So much can happen in just a few weeks. I feel almost as if immediately after my last update on Gigi and sharing the excitement of the reprieve we had experienced with her combative behaviors, she started to struggle once again. This time the progression was swift and what seemed to take months before only took weeks this time. In short order her combativeness was extreme again and it truly took 2 of us to dress and care for her, with her episodes lasting hours at a time again. The aggression was not our only concern as she was so unsteady on her feet, falling often, and becoming a danger to herself in these times. Out of desperation one Sunday evening we called Hospice for help and they were able to help us get her agression under control with different medication. Even though we had been trying to manage her behaviors with constant care and limited medicine, it was not enough. Thankfully her excellent physician and Hospice worked with us and were able to help her regain peace through the medication she needed. As these few weeks have passed she has significantly declined, she seems to have slipped into the beginning of the last stage of Alzheimer’s. Her aggression is all but gone, even though now, she is not on any routine medication, but only as needed for pain and anxiety. She is bed ridden and sleeps most of the day and through the night. We are feeding her now, as she cannot feed herself. She sits in her wheelchair every few days for about 45 minutes but that is about all she can handle, she gets too worn out. She has small windows of clear lucidity but for the greater percentage of time either speaks in random sentences or jumbled words. Her appetite is greatly diminished, but we try to get as many small portions in her throughout the day as she will eat. She is frail and tiny, probably only 95 lbs or so. We know our time is short, weeks or months, only the Lord knows. With the help of Hospice, our goal and desire is that she is comfortable; not in pain, but peaceful. Most days the lights are off with just natural light coming in, Tennessee Ernie Ford sings hymns quietly from a CD or Gaither Gospel hour “entertains” on the television. The girls often go in and read Bible stories to her or just sit and hold her hand. My mom was here for a week and spent a lot of time helping and just sitting with them, and now my Uncle Ken is here and doing that same. It is good to just be in the room with them. Papa also sleeps most of the day, literally. Right along with Gigi, we have seen a significant decline in him over the last few weeks. As our Hospice nurse gently says…”he is winding down”. He gave us quite a scare a couple weeks ago, but thankfully the antibiotics worked and the Lord healed his pneumonia. His appetite is also scarce. We try our hardest to get a good breakfast in him as that is his best meal of the day. As many days as he will let us, we cook up 2 eggs, 2 pieces of bacon and an English muffin. Some days he will finish it, but many others much is still left on the plate. We wake him throughout the day to try to coax food in him, but he mostly refuses our offerings, and dinner time only brings about a few meager bites. Some mealtimes we need to feed him as he simply falls asleep while eating and is quickly resting again as soon as the plate is removed from him. In reality, outside of the time it takes to get him up in the morning and ready for bed at night, his awake time is in small snippets, equaling probably a couple hours a day at best. The sweetest blessing is that he is still himself. Even those outside of our home…friends, caregivers, nurses, social workers… who come in and interact with him for many different reasons say often…. “how sweet a man he is”, “what a blessing it is to have met him”, how they too “have fallen in love with this man and his kind and gentle spirit”. He is still the most patient, loving, gracious and tender man I know. Almost as many times as he is awake he will say “I love you”, constantly says “thank you” with heartfelt gratitude, and still tells each one of us how precious we are to him.

Without a doubt, it is difficult for me to write what I know to be true in my heart. As we have been told, we do recognize that we are caring for two dying loved ones. The Lord is graciously giving us this time to prepare our hearts for the truth of what will inevitably come to pass. We are very aware that our moments with them are treasures and with gratitude, we praise our Heavenly Father for His sovereign hand on their lives and on ours.

For God alone my soul waits in silence;

From him comes my salvation,

He only is my rock and my salvation,

My fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken

Psalm 62:1-2

"Happy is he when others are despairing! Happiest shall he be in that very hour when others are discovering the depths of agony. We have here a statement which we have personally tried and proved: resting in the Lord, we know a happiness which is beyond description, beyond comparison, beyond conception. O how blessed a thing it is to know that God is our present help, and our eternal hope." Charles Haddon Spurgeon

We Ought to Give Thanks

We ought to give thanks for all fortune:

if it is "good," because is it good,

if "bad" because it works in us patience, humility,

and the contempt of this world

and the hope of our eternal country.

- C. S. Lewis

Psalm 100

Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth!

Serve the LORD with gladness!

Come into his presence with singing!

Know that the LORD, he is God!

It is he who made us, and we are his;

we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving,

and his courts with praise!

Give thanks to him; bless his name!

For the LORD is good;

his steadfast love endures forever,

and his faithfulness to all generations.

Romance Verses Love

Romance is fleeting, but love is long.

Romance is flying, but love is a safe landing.

Romance seeks perfection, but love forgives faults.

Romance anguishes as it waits for the phone to ring

 to bring a voice that says sweet things,

but love is the anguish of waiting for a call that assures

 you someone else is safe and happy.

Romance is suspense, anticipation and surprise, but love is dependability.

Romance is dancing in the moonlight, gazing deep into desired eyes,

but love is saying, "You're tired, honey, I'll get up this time."

Romance is delicious, but love nourishes.

- Anonymous

Soccer and Sewing

This last Saturday marked the end of Isabelle’s soccer season!! The girls had an excellent coach and they worked very hard all season and showed great improvement. They were very excited to be in the championship game for the 4/5th grade girls in their league. Even more exciting is they won the championship game and took home the trophy for 1st place!! Congratulations “Blue Jay Girls”!

Isabelle has also had the blessing of taking sewing lessons the last couple years from a great teacher and friend, Mrs. Dickson! Last year Shelley tagged along to quite a few lessons and finished some projects. This year she has been going more consistently and has greatly benefitted from Mrs. Dickson’s teaching also. Jamie is such a blessing to the girls and myself, and is an excellent teacher. A few years ago I wanted to really learn how to sew and she tried to teach me! I did make some projects including, a corduroy jumper dress that turned out adorable that both girls have worn, but let’s just say that Isabelle and Shelley are quickly on their way to surpassing my sewing abilities…..in fact probably already have! I am so glad that younger ones learn quicker and retain more! Isabelle has made doll dresses, doll quilts, baby quilts, cross stitch projects, pillowcases, cuddle blankets, mends our socks and whips out other little projects! Shelley has made doll quilts, doll dresses, embroidery projects and now finished this most recent doll quilt. A fun little note is that since Shelley is not ready for the machine yet, she carefully hand sewed this quilt. This is an especially sweet accomplishment when we consider her extremely shaky hands when we first brought her and William home to us and their "forever home". Times like these are blessed reminders of the work the Lord has done in their little lives and in ours since we brought them home for adoption almost 5 years ago.  It is a joy to see her perseverance and steadfast work on such a project! These lessons with Jamie have helped to blossom such creativity in our girls!  Jamie has really shared her knowledge, her time and her heart with them and I am so thankful that she is instilling in them skills that will last a lifetime!

Friday at the Farm...

...Stoney Ridge Farm that is! Since Sweet R was here with Papa and Gigi on Friday, I was able to take the younger 4 children on a field trip with friends to our local Stoney Ridge Farms.  We really love Stoney Ridge ...and Naomi and her children :-).... and since we do not get to go every year it is truly a treat for our young ones!  It was a perfect fall day and the farm was beautiful!  We enjoyed plenty of pumpkins, animals, a tractor/wagon ride, hay ride, corn maze and very nummy pumpkin cookies!  Naomi and I REALLY enjoyed the apple pie ala’ mode with hot caramel sauce amply poured over the top…..that was to die for!  Thanks to Naomi for the photos….I forgot to charge my camera battery the day before! The kids and I got to end our morning adventure with a visit we had planned with a dear friend and her girls who live across the road from the Farm.  I wasn’t exactly sure if the visit would happen as plans with a 3 ½ year old can quickly change…but all was well and we enjoyed fall sunshine and fellowship with dear friends….it doesn’t get much better than that!!

Reprieve

Psalm 59:16

But I will sing of your strength; I will sing aloud of your steadfast

love in the morning. For you have been to me a fortress

and a refuge in the day of my distress.

I cannot believe how quickly the time has passed and that I am so far behind in updating! We have had a good few weeks with so many enjoyable moments in both our care for Papa and Gigi and in our own little family. I praise the Lord that I am able to say that my sweet Gigi is doing better and she remains at home with us. For reason’s unknown to us or her physician, she has had a few weeks of reprieve in her episodes of aggression. Her doctor is unable to say for sure if she is progressing out of this stage or if she is simply having a good few weeks. We have had some small snippets of difficult days again over the last week with yesterday being the worst in quite a while, but nothing compared to what we had endured the last few months. One of the richest blessings of this reprieve is her renewed tenderness towards those of us caring for her. I personally have been the recipient of many kisses, hugs and reciprocal “I love you’s” over the last few weeks. I cannot tell you how deeply these moments have blessed the granddaughter in me. Even with the practical knowledge of Alzheimer’s disease, being purposeful to protect my heart, and the understanding that what she says or does is not directed to me as a granddaughter; the words and actions have still managed to leave sadness and small wounds in my soul. These last few weeks have helped to renew our spirits and bolster our strength as we continue to care for both Papa and Gigi. Unfortunately many other facets of the disease continue to cause her decline and sadly we see her struggle more. She is having a very difficult time walking and in my thoughts, from the nature of the disease, she might only have a few more months before she is in a wheelchair full time. Her speech is far more jumbled and in trying to hold a conversation with her, quite a few words are unintelligible. She of course doesn’t know who I or many others are most every day. Last night she asked me… “have I met these people before?” referring to Papa and Mitchell. Since we were standing behind Papa, I thought bringing her to see his face might help, but sadly it did not. When I told her he was her husband of 64 years she gasped slightly and said…”what…really?”. As difficult as that was, it was hardest to see Papa’s face sadden as he realized what was happening. He has suffered greatest, second only to Gigi, with this terrible disease. He will often lament….”that awful Alzheimer’s… she is still here, but she’s already gone”. The pain of watching the love of your life slip away before your eyes has to be agonizing. He is still so faithful in loving her through precious words even though he is unable to help in action. He is a sweet example to each of us of Galatians 5:22-23 …. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” In the physical realm, Papa himself has seen some decline over the last few months but overall he remains pretty steady. We have noticed of late his strength for transferring from wheelchair to bed or chair is diminishing both in his arms and legs. He has had a couple more prominent “senior moments” in reference to memory and confusion, but nothing outside of the natural scope of aging for a 92 year old man! He gladly attests to the faithfulness of his heavenly Father and we are encouraged and blessed by him on a daily basis.

Psalm 138:3

On the day I called, you answered me;

my strength of soul you increased.

Homeschooling is in full swing and the children are truly doing great! Mitchell’s first year of HS has a very full schedule! He is tackling Algebra 2 and Geometry, Writing, English/Grammar, and two online courses….a 10th grade Earth Science course and American Government. In his spare time he is playing football on the freshman team for our local High School and LOVING it! We never thought our current season of life and commitment to Papa and Gigi would allow him to play but the Lord worked out all the details of practice and game schedules. On many practice days he rides his bike round trip so that helps in my time commitment and driving him back and forth. He was blessed to go for a weekend to Silverwood Theme Park with his good buddy Joel and Mr. & Mrs. E. They had a blast and made some fabulous memories! He and his Daddy also had an amazing father/son time away a couple weekends ago,  in part thanks to a rich blessing from an anymous giver.  Their weekend included lots of fun, food, taking in a Seahawks game and.....YIKES.... Daddy teaching the "man child" how to shave! The weekend came about because Chad and Mitchell were completing the last chapter of a great book they had been going through together as they tackle the important area of moral purity. Randy Alcorn has written an excellent resource on the subject in the book …. The Purity Principle. Chad desired to take Mitchell away for a special time as they closed out the last chapter and hoped to include a Seahawks game in the weekend. By the time we added everything up for a night away we knew the ability to spend money on a game simply might not work. I love how the Lord knows even our deepest, unspoken desires and lavishes us with His good pleasure. We had shared our thoughts with no one and yet just over a week later He amazingly provided 2 tickets to a Seahawks game in the mail from an anonymous giver!!! Chad was able to surprise Mitchell with the game as the time away was coming to a close . A simple yet staggering act of kindness from our Heavenly Father….oh how He loves you and me!

Isabelle is greatly enjoying 5th grade…..with Reading, Math and sewing being her favorite subjects! She loves to spend her free time reading, sewing, and dressing up to play school, The Hiding Place or Little House on the Prairie with her younger siblings. She has also been busy with soccer practices and games! Since there is no way we can have multiple children doing many sports at one time we rotate the years of who gets to play a sport among the younger ones. This is Isabelle’s year and she loves the team…especially because she is playing with two of her good friends and making new ones.

It is so sweet to see William and Shelley in their 2nd grade year! Shelley’s favorite subjects are Reading and sewing and Will really enjoys Math! They are both reading well and many concepts seem to simply “click” in the second grade, it is one of my favorite years for the children in school. They are faithful and diligent in their work and are a precious blessing to me as teacher and Momma.

JD…well…what can I say…he is a 3 ½ year old bundle of energy!!! I love that boy immensely but to say “he keeps us hopping” would be the understatement of the century!! Actually we have witnessed some fantastic progress with him! His random screams and fits are fewer and far between, his vocabulary is excellent, and among other positive changes he is now sleeping in his big boy bed!! Also, when it suits his mood he will appease us by tinkling in the toilet! We are no where near finished potty training with him but I continue to have faith and hope in the fact that he will not be 16 and in diapers! He is truly the funniest kid and we LOVE his spunk and personality!

Also Isabelle, William and Shelley were so excited to be in the September wedding of a sweet couple they love dearly! It was an absolutely beautiful wedding and they loved every minute of it!

These few weeks have been sweet. We feel as if we are constantly getting notes, calls or words of encouragement from many friends and family.   We love that your common thread is prayer for us, and we offer our deepest gratitude for your faithfulness to include us in your petitions to our heavenly Father.  We continue to be renewed by the loving hand of our Savior. He knows each of our needs, intimately cares for our deepest woes and continues to provide us with abundant love and strength for each day. It is our great privilege to serve such a gracious and lavish God.

Exodus 15:2

The Lord is my strength and my song,

and he has become my salvation;

this is my God, and I will praise him,

my father’s God, and I will exalt him.



Quotable Kids

JD said something this morning that brought me right back to some sweet childhood memories with Papa.  My Papa loved and spoiled me like crazy, especially in the area of food, sweet treats and eating out…probably greatly contributing to my love of food!  JD was talking to Isabelle, right after breakfast, and trying to convince her to go into Papa and Gigi’s part of our home.  He petitions her….”Isabelle, me go say hi to Papa.” Then with the hopes of snitching some candy corn from Papa’s candy dish he says, ” I have candy… Daddy says NO but Papa says ONE.”

Only One Life

I am sorry to have had such a long silence on our blog.  There is much to catch up on and I do want to give an update, but my free moments are extra limited today so I simply wanted to share a poem with you. The authorship of the poem is debated. I found references to it being authored by C.T. Studd or P. H. Harding and also listed as an Author Unknown. No matter the author, the words are compelling. This is the complete poem of one of my most treasured phrases….”Only one life, ‘twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.” I will post again soon but for now I hope this poem becomes as precious to you as it is to me.

“Two little lines I heard one day,Traveling along life’s busy way;
Bringing conviction to my heart, And from my mind would not depart;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, Soon will its fleeting hours be done;
Then, in ‘that day’ my Lord to meet, And stand before His Judgement seat;
Only one life,’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, the still small voice, Gently pleads for a better choice
Bidding me selfish aims to leave, And to God’s holy will to cleave;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, a few brief years, Each with its burdens, hopes, and fears;
Each with its clays I must fulfill, living for self or in His will;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

When this bright world would tempt me sore, when Satan would a victory score;
When self would seek to have its way, then help me Lord with joy to say,
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Give me Father, a purpose deep, In joy or sorrow Thy word to keep;
Faithful and true what e’er the strife, Pleasing Thee in my daily life;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Oh let my love with fervor burn, And from the world now let me turn;
Living for Thee, and Thee alone, Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne;
Only one life, “twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, Now let me say,”Thy will be done”;
And when at last I’ll hear the call, I know I’ll say “twas worth it all”;
Only one life,’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last. ”