A Little More Time

Praising the Lord for a little more time.  Papa is a fighter and the Lord has him on earth for a time longer right now, and we are thankful.  You know, it is funny, I hesitated to put anything on the blog about his condition in the first place because things were so up and down.  After a particularly difficult day on Wednesday our Hospice nurse again felt that his time was short.  We had been hearing the same thoughts since last Friday but we had little glimmers of hope here and there as he would speak or eat little bits then have a difficult day then back and forth and back and forth.  Wednesday we spent a chunk of the day watching his breathing.  He spent most of the afternoon and evening with 30 seconds of no breathing, then 30 seconds of breathing, and had very little response or eating that day.   Thursday when Papa awoke, Mitchell was working on school in Papa’s room and Papa greeted him with a “Hello”, which surprised Mitchell…and all of us!  Since Thursday he has slowly been showing snippets of improvement.  His appetite is better and he not only responds to your words but he initiates a short conversation!  He is still in bed, not able to feed himself, and sleeps most of the day.  He of course is very weak and will probably not fully recover to even where he was before, but we are thanking the Lord for where he is.  This time has been so very sweet as it has given us (me in particular) precious time to begin letting go of Papa.  My heart has been so resistant to what I know will be reality someday; my Papa cannot live forever on this earth.  Chad spoke frankly, but lovingly, on Sunday as he shared with me the need to begin letting go and to stop resisting what will eventually come.  Not only that, but of course, the very best thing for Papa is eternity, it is simply my selfishness wanting him here with us.  Chad shared something that really struck me.  He said when we all are in eternity together we will know Papa in a way we have never known him before.  As much as I think he is pretty much the most “perfect” man here on earth, someone who loves unconditionally, who is tender, patient, kind, loving, gentle and so much more;  think of how amazing he will be in eternity with a perfect body in a perfect place!   Papa’s heart is yearning towards eternity, his Savior and his bride of 64 years.  We are thankful for whatever time we do have and amazed once again at the love of our Savior.  Even in the midst of my resistance, God has graciously given us the tender mercy of a little more time with this treasured man.