I feel a little funny writing about this, but at the same
time I wanted to simply remember this day as a motivating factor for myself and
hopefully for others. No, I’m not
turning 40… yet (thankfully I still have 1 yr, 8 months and 9 days before that happens…
gee no counting here! J
) but I wanted to mark another big 40 in my life …. 40 pounds… gone! I started this journey in early April and I gave myself 1 year to lose 60 pounds.
Even though I knew I had been seeing results over these last few months,
I was still surprised to realize early this month that I was very close
to reaching the 40 pound mark. At first
my goal was to make it through the holidays without gaining anything but then
when I realized I was so close to such a big marker, my motivation grew and I
was able to lose this last little bit and hit my 40 pound mark this past
Saturday!!
It is strange to be in this deep on my journey. I am a different person, with different
cravings and different motivations than I have ever had in my entire life. I still LOVE food, I still LOVE to cook food, I still show MY LOVE to others with food, I just don't "live to eat" anymore; rather, I try to simply "eat to live". I still enjoy all the food I make, just much less of it. I can also recognize now that exercise and daily life can go hand in hand. Running is something I now desire to do, always. I am perusing a book right now titled Run
Your Butt Off and one of the writers describes being “hooked on
exercise” in the following way.
“For a while – a long time, it seems – we only appreciate
exercise when it is over. We feel virtuous
for having done it, and we’re glad we pushed ourselves out the door. Whew. Check that off the day’s to-do list.
But there comes a point when the actual “during” portion of exercise isn’t so
bad, either. You’re out there and you
start running, and it feels much easier than you anticipated it would before
you started. You feel like you’ve got a good stride going. In fact, it’s downright
invigorating. It goes by quickly, and you’re sort of sorry it has to end. “
When I began running
this spring, I remember praying that I would just stick with this, stick with
something that could make a difference. The Lord graciously answered my prayers. Now it is not a matter of sticking to it, but
the simple fact that as someone who initially detested running, I now truly
enjoy it. As strange as it seems to type
it, I think I can officially say … I am a runner. I am not a fast runner, I am
not a long runner, but I run. The beauty is that anyone can run. One thing I have learned over these months is
that my view of who a runner is has been skewed. I have always thought of running as this
elite group of people who must be super- human in their desire, motivation and skill.
What I have learned is that there is a vast gamut of runners out there. Very definitely there are your “super-human
amazing runners”, but there are also your overweight, clumsy, absolutely NOT athletic,
slow runners out there and everything in between. Another very special factor is that those who
are amazing runners are extremely encouraging to those of us who definitely are
not. Wow. It has been a very sweet
journey for certain.
These last few months have also further revealed something
special that I was aware of but have been blessed to experience to the fullest
recently. I am surrounded by encouraging
and generous people who love me. Family
and friends who are generous with their words of love and encouragement and truly
take joy in seeing you succeed. WOW,
what a treasure they are to me. My
biggest encourager has been my dear husband. God has used these last few years
and in particular the last few months, to further reveal to me the depth of the
man I am married to. NEVER in all our years of marriage has he said
a negative word about my weight, no matter where I have landed on the
scale. He has loved me as equally and fervently
in recent years as he did almost 19 years ago when we said “I do”. I
cannot tell you the countless, (literally countless) times in the last few months that he has told me “I
am so proud of you” as we kiss goodnight.
His words are true, honest and like gold to me.
It is strange to be at a weight I haven’t seen in
years. To be in a size I haven’t worn
since before Mitchell was born. This past Sunday I wore a dress, a full-fledged
dress … something I haven’t done in probably 9 or so years….my girls were
thrilled! Over the years they have asked
me why I don’t wear dresses and I simply had to say I didn’t feel comfortable
in them. I know I still have a bit of a
journey left. My initial goal of 60
pounds might change to 70, I don’t know.
I do suspect that these last 20 pounds will be harder than the first 40,
but I am ready for the challenge. Excel
still more.
MARCH 2012
DECEMBER 2012
(sorry for the crummy lighting)