Papa

It’s hard to believe that it has been one year since my Papa stepped into eternity. Tonight, in memory of him, we will have steak ~ n ~ eggs with sourdough toast.  This was another one of his favorite meals, and the last birthday dinner he chose.  Words cannot adequately express how much my heart aches with missing him.  This morning, when I first woke at 4:38, my heart was heavy knowing what day it is.  Before I drifted off to sleep again, I thanked the Lord that He nudged me to wake up a little after 5 AM one year ago today with a strong desire to go check on Papa as he slept. How thankful I am to have had those last couple minutes with my hand in his as he took his last breath at 5:15 AM.

Over this last year, I have wrestled with myself often as I relive our last days with Papa. I wonder if there were signs I missed in recognizing his final decline.  As a family, we were by his side by his side almost every waking hour of the last years of his life, especially in those last 7 months he spent bedbound.  We lived our lives in his little part of our home, with him… how could I have missed knowing the end was so close?  We were blessed in our last days with Gigi.  She followed a pattern of decline and so it was very obvious to see that her time was close and we were able to be gathered around her bedside when she took her last breath.  In my heart I guess I assumed it would be the same with Papa. I often rethink the day before and nothing seemed out of the ordinary.  We had soccer in the morning so some were gone and some were home, and Ramona came in to help with Papa.  He was his normal self, kind and sweet, with “I love you’s” freely given.  We spent the afternoon and evening in with Papa, watching a Boise State football game, sitting with him, visiting between his sleeping, and holding his hand. I cut the boys hair in there and per usual we ate our dinner in with him.  We had Penne con vodka and fresh bread, a meal he deeply enjoyed.  He had a bite of pasta, a bite of bread and even a little sip of red wine.  We did our family devotions with him and then tucked him into bed.  The only “difference” you could say is that by the time we were done getting him ready for sleep, he was already asleep.  This wasn’t terribly unusual as he slept so much at that point but it was different in the sense that he was always awake to say his goodnight’s, I love you’s and give us all kisses.  How I have agonized over those last hours. Our time with him was sweet and just as it had been every day for a very long time.  Did I miss something?  Should I have been alarmed that he wasn’t awake to say his usual goodnights?  Was there something more in the day that I didn’t see? He was declining of course, eating less and sleeping more but this day seemed to hold nothing different than the days, weeks and even months before.  I have struggled to leave this with my Savior.  I have wrestled with guilt and sadness throughout this last year about how things might have been different had I known or recognized more in those last hours.  I have been reminded many times by Chad to rest in the situation and realize…..how can we ever know?  He has reminded me that we have no regrets in our years with them.  At the time of Papa’s death we had spent 12 of our 18 years married with Papa and Gigi, and a myriad of precious memories were made with them.
 

Another truth that has been brought to mind lately is that while I would have taken more comfort in being with Papa longer in the hours leading up to his death, it is not I who would bring him comfort, but his Savior.  I never wanted Papa to be "alone" in death. I have come to see though, that even if I had been with him through his last night in this earthly realm, in reality, that part doesn’t even compare to the comfort he received from Christ as he crossed between the earthly and heavenly realm.  I could not “walk the vale” with Papa, so to speak, but he was not alone.  Psalm 23 gives the reassurance that “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me”. I am very aware of these truths in my head, but I struggle with getting my heart to follow. I have been and I still often ask the Lord to take this struggle from me and I need to trust him to do just that. How weak I am in my faith, how much more I have to learn and grow.  How thankful I am that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me in spite of myself.  How grateful I am that He is a sovereign God and that he knew and orchestrated the final moments of Papa’s life to be used for His glory and for the continual deepening of my trust in Him. 

I wanted to share with you a portion of the devotional entry for today, October 2 from Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening Devotions. I read it again today and I remember reading it the morning Papa died and I am thankful for this sweet reminder from the Lord. 

“The hope which is laid up for you in heaven” – Col. 1:5

“Our hope in Christ for the future is the mainspring and the mainstay of our joy here.  It will animate our hearts to think often of heaven, for all that we can desire is promised there.  Here we are weary and toilworn, but yonder is the land of rest where the sweat of labour shall no more bedew the workers brow, and fatigue shall be forever banished.  To those who are weary and spent, the word ‘rest’ is full of Heaven.”

 

 

Monday Munchies: Bean and Kielbasa Soup

This soup is delish! It originally came from my dear friend Michele and it fast became a family and guest favorite! I usually serve this with my sweet corn bread and a mix of pickles!  Hope you enjoy!

Bean and Kielbasa Soup

 

1 pkg beef Kielbasa, sliced in rounds

2 - 14.5 oz can kidney beans

2 - 14.5 oz can black beans

2 - 14.5 oz can butter beans

2 - 14.5 oz can garbanzo beans

salsa (enough to fill one empty bean can)

1/2 bunch cilantro, chopped

 

This can be either an all day crock pot soup or a quick 1hr. cook in a stock pot on the stove.  Add all the ingredients to your crock pot or stock pot and cook accordingly .... its that simple...and delicious!

 

 

Note: The original recipe called for only 1 can of butter beans and 1 can of pinto beans.  Over time we have come to love 2 cans of butter beans instead.  This recipe is so flexible you can do what you please with it and it is still delicious!



 

Monday Munchies: Chocolate Zucchini Cake

I have been thinking I would love to start posting recipes on here once, maybe twice a week if possible!  For now we will start with the Monday Munchies first edition and see how it goes!

This recipe has been loved for years around here! It is delicious and an excellent way to use up your zucchini this time of year!  I will post the recipe as it is written first, then I will tell you my changes.

Chocolate Zucchini Cake

 

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup veg. oil

1/2 cup sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp. vanilla

1/2 cup sour cream

2 cups grated zucchini

2 1/2 cups flour

4 Tbsp. baking cocoa powder

1 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. baking powder

2 cups chocolate chips

- Cream butter/oil/sugar

- add eggs, vanilla and sour cream

- stir in zucchini

- add dry ingredients

- pour into a greased 9x13

- sprinkle chocolate chips over batter

 

Bake at 325 for 40-45 minutes

 


Alterations: *See new update below as of 10/1/12*

- I used applesauce to replace the veg. oil
- I used 1/2 & 1/2 to replace the sour cream, but you could use milk
- I fresh ground some flour from my Hard White Wheat Berries so the flour was completely whole wheat.
- I was out of baking cocoa powder so I used 1 1/2 unsweetened baking chocolate squares melted.  I added them when I added the eggs, vanilla, etc.


Next time I think I will try to replace the sour cream with applesauce also for a total of 1 cup applesauce.  Also, on a side note, the original recipe called for 1 1/2 cups sugar and I long ago reduced it to 1/2 cup but you could increase the sugar as desired! 


This recipe always gets rave reviews and even though you can see the grated zucchini in the batter somehow it assimilates well and it is not distinctive in the cake!


Let me know if you try it and what you think! Hope you enjoy it!

Recipe Alteration Update 10/1/12:

SOOO... I made a couple more cakes over the weekend and here is what I found:

The recipe calls for baking cocoa but as I mentioned I had been using unsweetened baking squares because I thought I was out of baking cocoa.  I found my baking cocoa and used it this time and liked the baking cocoa better.  I used my Ghirardelli's Sweet Ground Chocolate and since I had originally cut the sugar this sweetened it a little bit more and I liked it! ALSO...I accidentally used 1 tsp. of baking powder instead of 1/2 tsp. and of course it made it a little lighter and a bit taller so that was fun! This is such a great recipe because you can make adjustments and still come out with a great cake!

Redneck

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our neighbor's "trampoline" ...  UUMM ... I LOVE that we live in the country!

 

 

 



i do ... Bridal Shower Cupcakes

I meant to post these a while ago but I kept forgetting... I will get better at posting them right away! I want to keep a better pictorial/journal record of the cupcakes I do so I thought utilizing my blog would be good for that.  The only problem is that I forgot my camera so these photos are from my phone and not the greatest. 

 

These cuties were done for the bridal shower of a dear girl at church.  The original idea came from http://cottonandcrumbs.co.uk/?p=22 but a friend found the link on Pinterest and shared it with me.  Bailey’s colors are yellow, gray and black so I tried to match as best as possible.  For the swirl, I just used my 1M tip and topped it with the small white pearls.  For the “i do” sign I used gray cardstock paper with a little bit of texture to it and printed multiple  i do” phrases in the font I chose on the paper.  Then, I used a Martha Stewart tag punch to punch out my desired shape. We tied little knots in black ribbon and attached them with craft glue to the tag then craft glued the tag to the small popsicle stick.  Looking back now, the only thing I would do different is get a little bigger size tag punch.  I think I would have liked the look better with a little larger “i do”.  Overall, they were fairly simple and a whole lot of fun to make!  

 

 

 



Sleeping Under the Stars …. Kinda

Last night we had an outdoor movie night and a sleepover under the stars…or under the pop-up to be more precise! The kiddos love to sleep outside at least once over the hot summer days and Chad has been itching to do an outdoor movie with the projector.  It was the perfect night to watch one of our favorites, National Treasure 2 and take our slumber in the great out of doors! The only sad part is that Mitchell has been gone for a week at his BPD Explorer Academy in Pasco so he was not home to join us.  He will most certainly be in unbelief that I actually participated in the sleeping outdoors part! I am absolutely a “motorhomer” not a “true camper”, let alone a “sleep outdoors under the stars-er” but I was determined to make it through the night! I have never yet, in all the years of them sleeping outdoors, joined them in the fun! The phrase “I can’t believe you are still out here Momma” was heard more than once into the late evening!  Isabelle took advantage of the situation and used her fingers to simulate a bug crawling in my hair as we were drifting off to sleep….needless to say, she got the reaction from me she was hoping to hear!  I know we did not officially “sleep under the stars” with the pop-up above us, but I was ever so thankful for the cover as I heard the drip of condensation and dew hit the ground all night!  As much as I was longing for my own bed, it was quite a joy to peek out and see the amazing stars, here the coyotes howling much closer than usual, feel and smell the cool night air and to see God’s beautiful sunrise come up over the berries and farms around us.  Precious memories made.

Ummm....is it just me or does this photo make Isabelle look like she has a TON of make up on?!?
No worries....no make up...at all!



A 30 Minute Miracle

That’s about all I can think to call the fact that I am running continuously for 30 minutes. Today was day 3 of going 30 minutes…totally and completely …. it is truly a 30 minute miracle!  I mean really…this is me….the girl who detests running, can’t stick with an exercise program for more than a few weeks, usually finding any reason possible to skip a day…. and here we are.  I am not nor ever will consider myself a “runner”, they are in a league of their own.   Just a rung lower there is me…. a girl running, slower than what is probably legally considered running, but I’m doing it…. and for 30 minutes to boot!  Thank You Lord!

12 Years and Pink Lemonade Cupcakes

Yesterday marked Isabelle’s 12^th birthday…..where does the time go?!? She started off with pop-tarts for breakfast, yes a special birthday treat, not a normal breakfast choice in the Honey home! We spent the afternoon at the lake and the evening eating very nummy food, of her choosing!  Her birthday dinner consisted of steak with the Zesty Flank Steak marinade, thick baked beans, baked artichokes with melted butter and homemade corn fritters with honey butter….yikes it was a delicious meal!! Oh… and I cannot forget, she got her first Mountain Dew!  Soda Pop is a treat here for the Honey children. You don’t get your first real can of pop till your 6^th birthday and then smatterings of drinks thereafter.  When you turn 11 you get a pop the first Friday of the month and Mt. Dew is definitely off limits until your 12^th birthday!  Per Isabelle style, she opened it, drank barely any, shared it with her big brother and the rest sits in the fridge slowly losing carbonation and becoming a sugary syrup undrinkable drink!  For dessert, she had chosen Pink Lemonade Cupcakes from this neat book …. Fun Stuff Cupcakes.  At first I was unsure as the frosting is a little different and it is intended to look “melted” hence the “lemonade drink” look but they turned out really quite well and they were fun and pretty simple to make. 

There are so many things to love about Isabelle, but here are a few heard around the table last night…. “ I love how she is always willing to play with me and play Little House and she is the best sister”, “I love how she lets me build the cabinets she needs in the red building for Little House”, “I love that she goes the extra mile and helps others”, “she is kind”, “I love her cheeks”!!! She is tender, kind, compassionate, giving, has a tender heart for things of the Lord, an excellent sister, an invaluable mother’s helper and a precious daughter.  She is truly a joy to our hearts. 

Pink Lemonade Cupcakes

1 package white cake mix

1 cup water

3 egg whites

1/3 cup plus 1/4 cup thawed pink lemonade concentrate, divided

2 T veg oil

5-8 drops red food coloring, divided

4 cups powdered sugar

1/3 cup butter, softened

Fruit slice candies, straws

1.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line 18-22 standard muffin cups with paper baking cups

2.  Beat cake mix, water, egg whites, 1/3 cup lemonade concentrate, oil and 4-6 drops food coloring in large bowl with electric mixer at medium speed 2 minutes or until well blended.  Spoon batter into prepared muffin cups, filling 2/3 full.

3.  Bake 18-22 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.  Cool cupcakes in pans 5 minutes, reove to wire racks to cool completely.

4.  Beat powdered sugar, butter and remaining 1/4 cup lemonade concentrate in medium bowl with electric mixer at medium speed until well blended. Add a pinch of milk or cream if frosting is to thick.  Beat in remaining 1-2 drops red food coloring until desired shad of pink is reached.

5. Pipe frosting over cupcakes, garnish with candies and straws.



Our Favorite Part of Summer

There is hardly anything we look forward to more as a family than our annual church campout! Even though this is our family's 11th year attending, we never tire of the anticipation and then the joy of the actual event! This year was no different and we were blessed with incredible weather and much fun had by all!

Just a few of the memories..... campfires, friends, nummy food, loads of fellowship, Eschbach Annual Pancake Toss, lots of laughter, SCBC Olympic Games, tea parties, croissants roasted on an open fire for breakfast (the best ever!), endless bike riding and "goin' round the loop", fishing, soaking in the sun, running, and all things smores....regular smores, Reeses PB smores and York Peppermint Patty smores.....mmmmm mmmmm good!

JD is "ready" for his water balloon in the water balloon toss!

Chad came up with some creative ways to label his cups this year,

this one was a favorite!

Fishing with the Barbie pole! :-)