A Broken Brain

The last two weeks have gone swiftly and moved at a snails pace both at the same time. Swiftly because we are seeing such drastic changes in Gigi, almost daily, and slowly because our hearts are heavy and our minds and bodies tired. In these few days we have seen a gamut of actions from Gigi. They have ranged from loving words, sweet comfort, hugs and kisses to slapping, punching, tripping, hitting with her cane, refusing any medication, yelling, screaming, crying and yesterday in the midst of an almost 8 hour episode, pouring her root beer over my Papa’s head. If I ever doubted the moments of complete control this horrible Alzheimer’s disease has on my Gigi, this one act has purged my doubt. My Gigi has faithfully loved, served and sacrificed for my Papa for 64 years. She would be simply devastated if she were fully aware of her actions. In the midst of all this, there is something precious to note. There have been a handful of times where either I or the children have been blessed, sometimes even in the middle of an episode, to hear her stop and talk to the Lord. While her prayers are not always coherent she still talks, mostly asking for wisdom, help and guidance. Isn’t that amazing? Our hearts are greatly comforted to know that the Spirit in her inner soul can still prompt her broken brain to call out to her Savior.

The Joy of the Lord is my strength.

Psalm 139:1-18

For the choir director. A Psalm of David. O Lord, You have searched me and known me.You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar.You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O Lord, You know it all.You have enclosed me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high, I cannot attain to it.  Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?  If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night,”Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You. For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb.I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You.