Yesterday was heart breaking. There is simply no other way to describe the events of the day. I daresay it was the hardest day we have had yet in this journey with Gigi. In the midst of the difficulties, there were blessings….tender and severe mercies. We learned much in this day alone and know a little better what to do different next time. I will not be sharing many details this time. In my thoughts, almost all of the painful moments that transpired are not appropriate for blogging and some of it is simply too hard to describe; but I do want to share the beauty of the day. We had a very profitable and encouraging visit with Gigi’s doctor. He made some drastic adjustments to her medicine and gave me some insight and direction that will hopefully bring some practical help in the everyday care of Gigi. We are beginning to see that we will have “hills to die on” in the daily tasks of helping Gigi. As she continues to become more combative we are seeing that unless it is an area of risk to her, we will let go of some of the things she fights us on. I am more efficiently learning to recognize the many instances where she is not aware of who I am, instead of attributing the situation to her being angry at me personally. Yesterday the anger was coupled with some statements that brought to light that she truly, in those moments, did not know who I was or what she was saying to me. How thankful I am to know that the words we have heard over and over are so true….”God’s sovereign hand is in the glove of all of our circumstances”. We rejoice and rest in this truth.
May I be so bold to ask a prayer request? We deeply desire wisdom. Not only that we would have wisdom, but that we would be faithful to petition our awesome God, without doubting, for the wisdom He desires to pour out on us. This past Sunday I was reminded again of a truth I have long known, but for some reason it struck me anew this week. James 1:5-6 tells us …”If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.”
We must ask, and in confident faith… trust… that He will give of the abundant wisdom He has promised and desires to lavish on us. What a mighty God we serve!
The JOY of the Lord is my strength.